If you follow me on twitter, you’ve probably seen my health updates for when I’m coming out of Fibro pain flares or energy dives from Anemia. Lately, I’ve been more mistaken than right about oncoming good days. It’s annoying and feels like I’m ‘crying wolf’ about when to expect more output from me, but I’ve realized the reason is that I don’t know my body anymore. Some older limitations from before I had gained weight are returning, but I have longer endurance in activities I was ready to give up on a year ago. The upticks in my strength and energy are so random that I mess up planning my work schedule or attending events because the old signals for a streak of generous-spoons days turns out to be wrong, and it’s just a half-day energy boost.
There is good news. Since flares are triggered by wherever fat is disappearing causing nerve pain and new aches over bones which suddenly have less padding to protect them, they’ve decreased in intensity around my hands, hips, and ankles because there’s not that much excess fat left in those areas. Those flares were the worst and made concentrating on writing and editing nearly impossible. I swear my body has more drama than a Shonda Rhimes show.
Edits for Kevin are coming along, and I’m still aiming for a finish date this month. There are some scenes where I wonder if my 2016 election anxiety is coming through too much, so I’m gonna reread those bits today. Alrighty, I’m getting back to work and hoping to update more frequently.
Oh God, there’s finally a light at the end of Revisions Tunnel. It probably wouldn’t have been so hellish if my back hadn’t gone out on me and then gotten exasperated by sitting shotgun on an eleven hour road trip to Indiana. These last two months have been awful painwise, but binging sports anime on Crunchyroll and eating quite a lot of cupcakes and ice cream for meals pulled me through it. It was nostalgic revising Kevin while convalescing because Sebastian was also a story completed during months trapped in bed. The familiar anger at my body for it being the reason why I couldn’t get more done, feeling comforted by the glare of my laptop screen as I managed a few lines of words or fixes. I could have lived without reliving those memories, but maybe that’s why I could bounce back quickly. This happens so many times that it’s almost normal to me now.
My neck does actually feel like that sometimes.
Unfortunately, pain doesn’t bring clarity. The set-up of Kevin’s ending has bugged the shit out of me because of too many similarities with Sebastian’s ending, and unless I figured out how the damn thing was supposed to play out, fixing other parts affected by that scene would be meaningless. Then this weekend came, I was in a lot less pain, and the new set-up just about walked in front of me in a trench coat and flashed me. So you’re gonna see less of me on Twitter for a while, and the soft deadline for Kevin’s edits to be finished is mid-June. Hard deadline is July. You’ll probably see another progress report in about two weeks, so I’ll have more of a handle on where I’m at in editing and can figure out a new schedule for working on my YA novels. *Sigh* My kingdom for a cyborg body that has a built-in frappuccino machine that provides drinks while I write.